I’ll admit—I’ve gone into this season with intentional busyness. Some of which was already planned, and the rest was just to keep my mind off the reality that this Thanksgiving holiday would be different from any other.

I still give Mama praises for teaching me how to make her famous Dressing…which is hands down THE BEST Dressing (not stuffing) ever. Don’t debate me on this. I’ve also been told that mine comes pretty dang close to hers. I’ll have to agree.

I forever thank you, Mama!

I guess God has a way of making this time thing work out ever so perfectly. Normally we would all be in The Gump (Montgomery, AL) for Thanksgiving, but last year we weren’t able to make it. I was able to spend my last Thanksgiving holiday with my Mom, and for once I was able to cook for her. Against her will because she ALWAYS wanted to do the cookin’. When she said she wanted to cook, I told her…”No, you will not! Sit yo tail down for once!” We laughed. Then she said, “Well, what do I need to bring?” I said, “All I want is for you to be present and accounted for.” We watched the game, shared laughs, took one million silly grainy selfies on my iPad (again) against her will, LOL, but I thank God for the memories!

This one is for us, Mama. FOR US.

This year has been full of unexpected loss, not only for me, but for so many around me. I can’t even count on two hands and two feet how much loss has occurred in the span of 2016—and it ain’t even over yet. SCREW YOU 2016! One thing I’ve learned in my GriefShare small group is loss can come in many different forms: Grieving the death of a loved one, grieving for this country (God help us all) *deep sigh*….while also grieving the memories of what was…failed relationships, friendships, etc…unexpected conditions that one year ago we never would have imagined to be our current reality.

Oh, life.

I have no advice on how to survive the holidays. Check back with me in about a month…or two…or maybe three. I do know I have to hold on and cherish the memories that I do have—and the memories that have kept me, and the memories that keep me going as I press forward. My heart still breaks, and I absolutely believe in my heart that I am STILL in a state of shock that my Mother will not be here physically.

*swallows bitter pill*

BUT GOD, and by His Grace…I am still alive and I’m still here as a testament that when life hurts, you can keep going. It never gets easier, you just learn to adjust accordingly. My prayers are with every single person missing their loved one during this holiday season. I get it, it’s tough. But please hold on to the memories and the dreams (they come to you for a reason). Journal…write out your thoughts and happy memories, or whatever you have to do. Just win the day.

I know Sarah’s spirit is alive and thriving, and I know I am surrounded by her presence constantly. She always had that gift.

I’m THANKful to God for GIVING me her.

F O R W A R D.